Retreat Notes

Feb 26th, 2014 | By | Category: Religious


Personal notes from a 3 day Silent Retreat – by Swendrini Tania

 A compilation of my personal notes taken down with the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit during a three day Silent Retreat at the Divine Mercy Healing Center. I give all glory and honor to my Heavenly Father for blessing me with a desire to take down all these notes.

There are Bible quotations, which were given during the retreat, which I took down to the best of my ability.

The Bible quotes are connected to hyperlinks (source:  United States Conference of Catholic Bishops).

The retreat had a very personal impact in my life. This was my second such retreat at the same location. How I would describe it in my words would be to say that the Lord broke me in to pieces on the first day and put me back together on the last day as a brand new creation with no “cracks”.

God in His awesome goodness made it possible for me to be at the retreat on my birthday. (29 November- 01 December 2013).

Sirach 2:5 Sirach “For in fire gold is tested”

John 8:34 John ““Amen, amen, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is a slave of sin”

1 John 3:8 1 John “Whoever sins belongs to the devil, because the devil has sinned from the beginning”

Psalm 27:10 Psalms “Even if my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will take me in”

Romans 5:5 Romans “and hope does not disappoint”

Romans 5:8 Romans “But God proves his love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us.”

Sirach 25:12 Sirach “Fear of the Lord surpasses all else. To whom can we compare the one who has it”

Sirach 40:1-7 Sirach “As he reaches safety, he wakes up, astonished that there was nothing to fear”

Exodus 15:26 Exodus “If you listen closely to the voice of the LORD, your God, and do what is right in his eyes: if you heed his commandments and keep all his statutes, I will not afflict you with any of the diseases”

Jeremiah 30:12-17 Jeremiah “All your lovers have forgotten you,”

Hosea 14:4-5 Hosea  “I will love them freely;”

Unfaithfulness is 3 fold : 1) To ourselves 2) to each other 3) To God

1 John 3 :14-24  John  “Whoever does not love remains in death”

Luke 15: 9  Luke – The 3 parables, Lost Coin/Lost Sheep/The Lost Son

Psalms 51: 17  Psalms “Lord, you will open my lips; and my mouth will proclaim your praise”

John 5:14 John “Look, you are well; do not sin any more, so that nothing worse may happen to you.”

Isaiah 53:6 Isaiah “We had all gone astray like sheep, all following our own way”

1 Peter 2:24 Peter “By his wounds you have been healed”

Hebrews 4:14-16 Hebrews “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has similarly been tested in every way, yet without sin”

John 1:29 John ““Behold, the Lamb of God,* who takes away the sin of the world”

A few of our own failings and fallings due to Inner Wounds-

  • Ø Sitting alone- presence of many is not easy. Crowds makes us uncomfortable
  • Ø Always worried about the way you dress
  • Ø Sitting alone: want to feel momentary joy, which leads us to temptation and sin.
  • Ø Negative feelings
  • Ø Always arguing for minor matters
  • Ø Cheating with your own eyes- but denying after that
  • Ø Habit of drinking
  • Ø Always wearing something on your body, you don’t want anyone to touch it- something connected to a negative or bad memory, which you experienced.
  • Ø Mis-used by some one

Whenever there are distractions when you are in church or praying, – Listen to God, He is talking to you through those distractions

  • Ø Some people are intoxicated by strong medication
  • Ø When sin is there in you, you feel sleepy
  • Ø When they are awake God cant work in some people

Romans 7: 15-19 Romans “What I do, I do not understand. For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate”

Sirach 40:1 Sirach     “A great anxiety has God allotted”

Roots for inner wounds

  • Ø Presence of fear in you – insecurity

Lack of love : Ephisians 3: 16-19Ephesians “that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, rooted and grounded in love” / Hosea 11:1-4 Hosea “I drew them with human cords, with bands of love” /Wisdom 7:1-6 Wisdom “In swaddling clothes and with constant care I was nurtured”

  • Ø Mis-used area- physical or mental
  • Ø Inferiority complex – low self-esteem. Comparing you to others. Romans 12 :1-2 Romans “to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God”


James 1:13-15 James “each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire” (you are tempted not by God, He does not tempt, but your desire tempts you).

Mathew 5:8 Mathew “Blessed are the clean of heart, for they will see God” (you will be tempted until your heart is pure)

Acts 8:22 Acts “Repent of this wickedness of yours and pray to the Lord that, if possible, your intention may be forgiven” (repent of the intent of your heart)

1 John 1:15-17 1 John “Do not love the world or the things of the world” (Mortal/major sins- Pride/desire of money/desire of the eye. Why do you get hurt? Because you consider yourself high, you have un-forgiveness towards others. Pride is the reason you get hurt.


7 Arc Angels

St Micheal/St Gabriel/St Raphael/ Uriel/ Raguel/Remiel/Saraqael (Arcangels)

Your eye is what leads you to sin. The Eye is always greedy!

Mathew 6:22-23 Mathew “The lamp of the body is the eye. If your eye is sound, your whole body will be filled with light”

1 John 2:15- 17 1 John “Do not love the world or the things of the world.* If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him”

Have a single hearted devotion to your Heavenly Father.

Why do you want to be loved? Because we are empty, when there is true love you don’t need to be loved by everyone!

5 Senses– purity of the senses is a must for holiness. The 5 Spiritual senses are,

1)       Spiritual eyes

2)    Spiritual ears

3)    Spiritual feel

4)    Spiritual smell

5)    Spiritual taste

Ephesians 2: 16-22 Ephesians “Through him the whole structure is held together and grows into a temple sacred in the Lord; in him you also are being built together into a dwelling place of God in the Spirit”

The more you use your physical sense your spiritual sense are blocked.

John 8:44 John “When he tells a lie, he speaks in character, because he is a liar and the father of lies” Facebook is a world of cheating.

Ecclesiastes 9:12    Ecclesiates : “Human beings no more know their own time than fish taken in the fatal net or birds trapped in the snare; like these, mortals are caught when an evil time suddenly falls upon them” The internet is a net which catches people to commit sin.

Genesis 3:1      Genesis “Now the snake was the most cunning of all the wild animals that the LORD God had made”

Ezekiel 28: 12 Ezekiel “You were a seal of perfection, full of wisdom, perfect in beauty”

If there is no sacrifice there is no true love.

Acts 2 :42-45 Acts “they would sell their property and possessions and divide them among all according to each one’s need”

In the times of the apostles everything was common to Christians. You share everything. If you can’t share, that means you are hiding something.

Acts 20:35 Acts “It is more blessed to give than to receive”

Ready to love others if they love us back.

Mathew 26:41 Mathew “Watch and pray that you may not undergo the test. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak” (our physical senses are under the cage of the evil one)

Root of love is spiritual. There is no such thing as “Love Making”. A body can never make love!

John 3:6 John “What is born of flesh is flesh and what is born of spirit is spirit” (Comfort is weakness, more comfort means less spirituality. That is why Jesus wants us to carry the cross!!) Our cross can make us stronger.

John 6:33 John “For the bread of God is that which comes down from heaven and gives life to the world”

Mark 13:31 Mark “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away”

Mathew 5:34 Mathew “But I say to you, do not swear at all; not by heaven, for it is God’s throne”

James 3:1-12 James “In the same way the tongue is a small member and yet has great pretensions”

1 Timothy 6:6-10 1 Timothy “Indeed, religion with contentment is a great gain” (one who is satisfied with what he has –is spiritual.

Sirach 30:15 Sirach “I would rather have bodily health than any gold, and contentment of spirit than pearls”

Mathew 6:24 Mathew   “You cannot serve God and mammon”

Hebrews 13:5 Hebrews    “Let your life be free from love of money but be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never forsake you or abandon you”

1 Timothy 6:10 1 Timothy “For the love of money is the root of all evils”

Deuteronomy 8:17-18 Deuteronomy  “Remember then the LORD, your God, for he is the one who gives you the power to get wealth”  (whatever you can take when you die is what you have made!!) Read and reflect on Sirach – reflect on death, you will not sin. The presence and absence of money should not change your character.

4 sources of Inferiority

1)      Appearance

  • Ø Sirach 12:2  Sirach “Do good to the righteous and reward will be yours, if not from them, from the LORD”
  • Ø Genesis 1:26-27 Genesis “God created mankind in his image”
  • Ø Romans 14:1-7  Romans “None of us lives for oneself, and no one dies for oneself”
  • Ø Mathew 7:1 Mathew “Stop judging, that you may not be judged”
  • Ø 1 Samuel 16:7 1 Samuel “God does not see as a mortal, who sees the appearance. The LORD looks into the heart”
  • Ø 1 Peter 3:3-5  1 Peter “Your adornment should not be an external one: braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or dressing in fine clothes”

Comparison is a sin. Don’t compare yourself to others. Accept and appreciate your uniqueness!

2)    Abilities – Compare you and feel inferior.

3)    Background – circumstances and surroundings

4)    Family- Parents cultural clashing

Love is a spiritual faculty. Whatever starts up with the body will end with the body. The medium used to bring out love is the body.

John3:6 “What is born of flesh is flesh and what is born of spirit is spirit”

Romans 8:5-8   Romans “The concern of the flesh is death, but the concern of the spirit is life and peace”

  • Union between soul and soul – Spiritual union ( Husband and wife/parents and children – Loves highest form of union is the spiritual union)
  • Heart and heart –  Emotional union
  • Within body and body – child is created through spiritual union

Pleasure appeals to your body. Pleasure makes you sick. Pleasure makes you a slave.

Love brings fulfillment – NOT enjoyment.

Luke 8:14 Luke “they are choked by the anxieties and riches and pleasures of life, and they fail to produce mature fruit” (Anxieties of life, that’s worries about money and pleasures takes God away from us)

James 5:5 James “You have lived on earth in luxury and pleasure; you have fattened your hearts for the day of slaughter”

Rejoicing and love is from God. Enjoyment and pleasure is from the evil one.

Luke 10:25 Luke  “There was a scholar of the law* who stood up to test him and said, “Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

Luke 1:45-46 Luke  “Blessed are you who believed* that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled.”

Acts 5:19-20 Acts “Go and take your place in the temple area, and tell the people everything about this life.”

Philippians 4:4 Philippians “Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice”

Fear – positive and negative. The only positive fear is the fear of God- love and respect for God. Psalms 112: 1 Psalms “Blessed the man who fears the LORD, who greatly delights in his commands”

Reasons for fear – You want to fulfill your desire. You will have a stubborn nature, due to negative fear. Why do you scream loud? Due to the fear of losing what/who you have.

7 ways the devil attacks

1)      Possession – very rare (Mark 5: Mark)

2)    Obsession – sex/money/movies/pictures/food – without which you cannot live.

3)    Oppression – mental faculty is oppressed

1 Corinthians 13 1 Corinthians “Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated”. (Love is never blind, but lust is blind! True love – never lies/does not get angry/is more responsible. Lust – there is lies/is very impatient/gets angry)

4)    Depression – sadness/ does not accept the truth of life

5)    Infestation – weakness becomes sin – informative

6)    Temptation

7)    Negation – negative spirit


You become fearful when you commit sin. Sin + guilt makes it easy for the dear to dwell. When there is fear you feel sleepy. (Spiritual bondage) when there is spiritual bondage your body becomes sick and you feel tired.

1 John 4:18 1 John “There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment, and so one who fears is not yet perfect in love”(there is no fear in true love)

Mis-used areas can be direct (to be mis-used by someone) or indirect(through vision, hearing) Sexuality has to be when there is lust- reason of lust.

  • Wants to be loved more- insecure
  • Wants to be cared more- more attention/ empty vessel
  • You want people to notice you
  • You want to see a lot of movies- you get different desires

You want to touch other people. Love & love has the power of movement. Lust always tempts. Only the power of the Love of God can help you.

Wisdom 6:10 Wisdom “For those who keep the holy precepts hallowed will be found holy, and those learned in them will have ready a response”

1 Peter 1: 18-19 1 Peter  “but with the precious blood of Christ”

Slave to lust is a result of mis-use (satan can destroy)

How you can overcome it?

  • Ø Pray – true prayer/silent retreats. Find out the root cause of it.
  • Ø Forgive unconditionally- the person who mis-used you
  • Ø Invite Jesus’s presence into that incident
  • Ø In the name of Jesus I renounce the pleasure I felt
  • Ø Invite God’s love to fill you and also to fill those people who troubled you

1 John 1:7-10 1 John  “If we acknowledge our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from every wrongdoing”

If you confess the Blood of Jesus will save you. First thing that comes in to your mind is the entry point. Ask the Holy Spirit to help us to do a heartfelt confession, and it will truly set us free. For that moment imagine Jesus in front of you and not the priest, what an amazing blessing to have the Sacrament of Reconciliation! That’s the only place where you can keep the burdens of your sin that you carry with you and come out feeling free. He can truly heal us during a sincere confession. I truly believe that!

Confession is the extended hand of God at a shipwreck!


Psalms 50 Psalms

Grateful/gracefulness – Best sacrifice

Sin – ungrateful/selfish.

Jesus very first words in public ministry- “Repent” Mathew 4:17 Mathew

Lust of the eye

Lust of the flesh            what causes us to sin!

Pride of Life

Your own thing-I did it my way- it’s the highway to HELL!

Being obedient and submissive – That’s JESUS way!

Don’t settle for less- you were created for a higher purpose. Be a slave for Jesus. He came to save the sinner, the lost one (luke 15) Its all about the lost one. God gave us a boundary, don’t sit there and imagine!

Christians are “cross” lovers. You cannot love the cross and want comfort.

John 20: 21-26 John“ Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you”

Chose your friends wisely. Watch who you listen to!


Isaiah 59:1-8 Isaiah “It is your sins that make him hide his face so that he does not hear you”

Psalms 32:5 Psalms   “I confess my transgression to the LORD,” and you took away the guilt of my sin” (confess your sins to the Lord. There is power in the word of God)

John4:14 John “but whoever drinks the water I shall give will never thirst; the water I shall give will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life”

The Ten Commandments: (Exodus 20:1-17) Exodus

  1. You shall not have other gods but Me
  2. You shall not make for yourself an idol
  3. You shall not invoke the name of the LORD, your God, in vain.
  4. Remember the Sabbath day—keep it holy
  5. Honor your father and your mother, that you may have a long life in the land the LORD your God is giving you.
  6. You shall not kill
  7. You shall not commit adultery
  8. You shall not steal
  9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor
  10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house

Forgiveness is the practical side of Love.

Luke 23:34-35  Luke “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.”

Mathew 5:48 Mathew “So be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect”

Mathew 5:44-45 Mathew   “But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your heavenly Father”

Mathew 5:43-48 Mathew

Luke 6: 27-28 Luke “But to you who hear I say, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you” (The highest point of love is loving your enemy)

Love your enemy if not your enemy will rule and ruin your life. The only way you can free yourself is to forgive the enemy. Forgiveness is for YOURSELF.

Mathew 25: 40 Mathew “Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me”

Isaiah 40:29-31 Isaiah “They that hope in the LORD will renew their strength, they will soar on eagles’ wings; they will run and not grow weary, walk and not grow faint”

7 Steps in forgiveness (if you forgive you won’t have the following)

1)      Hatred – Colossians 3:12-13 Colossians “as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do”. Ephesians 4:31-32 Ephesians “be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ.”

2)    Why??? The reason we cannot forgive is because of the question WHY.  Therefore stop asking why, and accept it happened! John 8:32 John “and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free”. When you accept it there is pain. Bless the person in the name of Jesus!!

3)    Revenge – you attach the weakness

4)    Envy – hardest anger comes from envy. When you are dissatisfied with yourself, envy creeps in. also when you compare.

5)    Jealousy

6)    Selfishness – you won’t be “I” centered but “others” centered.

7)    Loneliness- even with the best friend you will feel lonely, if you have unforgiveness.

8)    Judging

“ Joy is a net of love by which we can catch souls” (Mother Teresa)


1 Corinthians 11: 23 1 Corinthians  “For I received from the Lord what I also handed on to you”

1 Corinthians 11:2 “I praise you because you remember me in everything and hold fast to the traditions, just as I handed them on to you”

1 Corinthians 11:1 “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ”

Exodus 33:23 “Then I will remove my hand, so that you may see my back; but my face may not be seen.” (Your body posture should have reverence in the presence of the Lord, In His Holy temple. Covering the head was for reverence. Whenever you are in church don’t talk to one another but meet the Lord there and talk to Him. He is waiting for you in the tabernacle. The Holy mass is the meal of the children of God. All who are present are your brothers and sisters.)

Luke 11:1-4   “Father, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come”

Revelation 3:19   Revelation ” Those whom I love, I reprove and chastise. Be earnest, therefore, and repent”

  • Eating is the best expression of love
  • The Holy Eucharist if God’s deepest union with you, Jesus wants to be one with you through this meal.
  • Learn and love the Holy Eucharist- whenever there is division, you can unit at the Holy Eucharist.

1 Corinthians 11:23 onwards 1 Corinthians (Jesus wants to remain with us until God comes again. He promises His presence in the Holy Eucharist.)

John 6: 51 onwards John (Its about the Holy Eucharist, it says very clearly that the bread He gives us is His flesh, there is no confusion about that. It’s not a symbol but the real body of Jesus. Jesus explains about the Holy Eucharist in John 6: 51 onwards.)


1 Corinthians 11: 28 onwards 1 Corinthians  “For anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body, eats and drinks judgment on himself. That is why many among you are ill and infirm, and a considerable number are dying.”

When you receive the Body of Christ with mortal sin,

  • Sick
  • Infirm                   Sin is the sickness of the soul
  • Die

Acts 2:42 Acts  “They devoted themselves to the teaching of the apostles and to the communal life, to the breaking of the bread and to the prayers”

Family meal- The Holy Eucharist

Thanksgiving & praise to God- Holy Spirit is in the Holy Eucharist

Colossians 3:15-17 Colossians   “And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him”

The Holy mass is a thanksgiving feast. When you receive the Holy Eucharist with meaning you get 3 types of Life; John 6: 51 John

  1. Whatever you need to live in the world you will get- that’s a promise (John 6:51           “I am the living bread that came down from heaven; whoever eats this bread will live forever; and the bread that I will give is my flesh for the life of the world.”)
  2. Life within you is spiritual life (love, peace, joy) – John 6:53 “Amen, amen, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you do not have life within you”
  3. Eternal life – John 6:54 “Whoever eats  my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day”

How to stay spiritually connected

  • Ø Be regular at mass
  • Ø Be regular in your confession
  • Ø Be regular with your family prayer
  • Ø Be regular in your personal prayers
  • Ø Be regular with your tithe

A Promise from GOD! I truly believe that these words (bible quotes given below) are more than enough for me to live each day serving Him until He calls me!

Isaiah 41:10 Isaiah  “Do not fear: I am with you; do not be anxious: I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand”

Luke 17:13 Luke “and raised their voice, saying, “Jesus, Master! Have pity on us!”

Jeremiah 17:14 Jeremiah  “Heal me, LORD, that I may be healed; save me, that I may be saved, for you are my praise”

Matthew 18:35 Matthew “So will my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives his brother from his heart.”

Philippians 4:13 Philippians “I have the strength for everything through him who empowers me”

Isaiah 54:4-10 Isaiah “Though the mountains fall away and the hills be shaken, My love shall never fall away from you nor my covenant of peace be shaken, says the LORD, who has mercy on you”

Mathew 6:25-34 Matthew  “But seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides.”

2 Peter 1:1-11 2 Peter  “His divine power has bestowed on us everything that makes for life and devotion, through the knowledge of himwho called us by his own glory and power”

– By Swendrini Tania

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